Setting Down the Suitcase

Tomorrow is my anniversary.

It has been the toughest, and most rewarding 3 years of my life.

Each time I look at that rough-"stuck in the 80's man"....

I fall in love all over again.

spaceIt's true.... I am crazy, hopelessly in love with this man.

But... tomorrow I am starting over.

I'm am setting down the suitcase of shame and guilt that I have carried around with me for over 4 years. Somehow in the back of my mind I have never allowed myself to be truly happy with our marriage because it started off on such horrible ground.

Ground full of sin and shame..

But.... tomorrow I am unpacking that suitcase and letting it go.

If God could forgive and use David... then he can do the same for me.
My favorite verse in the whole bible is..."Let go of those things which are behind, and reach forward to those things that are ahead." Somehow I have let that verse be for everyone else in the world but me. How could I let go of what was behind when I was packing that guilt and bringing it with me everywhere I went. It survived 3 moves, and countless cleanings. Yet somehow I held on.

Tomorrow is the beginning of a fresh new me, a clean heart made whole.

I have unpacked all the Yuck and set it free.

I will live the rest of all the days I am given believing that the fairy tale in my head can actually be for me. I believe with all that I am that without the MESS there would be no message. God can take our weakest moments and use them to change you when nothing else would.

I am a firm believer that sometimes you have to hit the bottom to appreciate the climb back up again. But that's what life is all about... the journey. What we do with our mistakes is up to us. We can let them make us bitter, or let them make us better.

So.... tomorrow I will forever "LET GO"

I will enjoy the man who turns my heart to butter.

The man who makes me bubble somewhere down in my soul that I never knew existed.

I will watch him be the best father on Earth with a smile knowing that God forgives... Sometimes long before we forgive ourselves.

He is truly the Love of my Life.. I love the way he walks so slow that I can literally make a circle around him, I love the way he makes a joke then asks me if that was a good one, I love his cooking and the way he fixes my plate, I love the way he orders all my drinks with extra ice, the way he folds his dirty clothes when he puts them in the laundry.

I love the way he loves my children as if they were his own, the way he drives all over town to buy something on sale, the way he watches me with Brady knowing we are both crazy about the man we call "dad", the way he smiles with his lip crocked up on one side, the way he has friends he talks to all the time that he went to Kindergarten with, and a million more silly, wonderful, annoying, fabulous things. But... most of all I love that man because of all he is yet to be. The man whose dreams I can't wait to watch come true.

I know everyday will not be sunshine and lovely, but that's ok...

Because that's what real love is... Loving him when he doesn't deserve it, because I know he will love me when I don't either. The older I get the more I realize LOVE is a choice... not an emotion. Emotions get you into trouble and cause impulsive situations.

But commitment is a lifetime.

The greatest gift Little Brady will ever know is that his mommy is crazy in love with his dad.. Not because he looks like the guys on tv, or because he makes the most money and buys us fancy things, not because he's famous or is full of ivy league education.... But because he's the man our lives would never be the same without.

So with the greatest excitement, a mind full of ease, and a heart full of JOY... I will cherish my tomorrow with all that I am. I will kiss that wonderful man and know that I am forgiven by both God and myself.

May we all be filled with the blessing of New Beginnings.

And the forgiveness only we can give ourselves.

Fingerprints

I know that technically every person on this Earth has a unique set of fingerprints.

But truly.... Our children are touched every day by the fingerprints we imprint upon them.

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If you ever stop and think about it - it is somewhat scary to realize what a huge impact we have on our children. They watch each and every move we make... mimicking our words, our actions, and most importantly our hearts... So, stop today and take a moment to ponder the fingerprints you are leaving behind.

Day at the OSCARS

Hee Hee....

I feel like I've won an OSCAR....

But darn it- I didn't get to dress up or walk the

red carpet in a knock em' over dress

and fabulous hair...

Other than that it feels the same.

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I finally had an extra minute to get upstairs to check my computer.

AND look what I got... YIPPIE..

I know it's crazy... but I feel like I'm falling behind on my friendships

if I don't keep up with my BLOG buddies on a daily basis.

I'm sure I'm not the only one out there who calls them friends,

and I'm sure you have people who also remind

you that you don't really see these people. haha

It is kinda silly, but that's what makes it so fun..

It's the thrill of meeting someone who you might never have know before, sometimes halfway around the world.. Now what could be more fun.. The ironic part is I have also gotten to know people who lived in my old tiny home town that I only knew enough to wave at. I never really knew anything else about them. And here through this fabulous world of computers I have grown to find them just down right amazingly fun...

So to every single BLOG I read and look at for inspiration I thank you for taking the time to make a friend with a little short gal who thinks this whole thing is just grand.ce here

I am supposed to list 5 addictions and pass this on to 5 people.

ADDICTIONS

1. Of course the first one to mind

is taking pictures of Little Brady.

I'm not sure if I'm just old and I think he is so fun to watch, or if

he is just that funny of a little boy.

This was his first attempt to go down the slide head first. haha

(not on purpose)

2. The idea of a fairy tale LOVE story.

I am a forever hopeless, ooey gooey romantic.

I think being in love and having someone who makes

you a better person is one of the greatest gifts you

can ever give YOURSELF and someone else.

3. Dancing with the STARS...

I am crazy nuts over that show.

I'm sorry but I just squeeze my cheeks together

and dance in my chair at home.

Man I'd give anything nearly to be on that show.

I'm waiting for them to start

Dancing with the Normal People...

I'll be all over that one.

4. Sunshine!!!!

I love the way it makes you feel sitting, lying, breathing, thinking, walking, or doing absolutely nothing in the sun. It warms up my heart and percolates my mind and soul.

I know it's also causing wrinkles, but poo on that.

5. Reading Self/help

positive inspiring STUFF.

I know that has got to move me to the top of the dork line..

But I am a firm believer in what you put in changes what comes out.

I can tell you from my experience at the bottom -

that your thoughts control your outcome.

So... I giggle, dance, and sing. Read, smile and believe in fairy tales more than anyone I know...

So, as Brady drives me on into tomorrow...

I wish for you all:

to find the things in life that bring you joy..

HOLD on to them as tight as you can.

Giggle, wiggle and smile more than you did yesterday..

Look in the mirror and believe in Fairy Tales.

You've Got The Cutest Little Baby Face

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The world is filled with wonder

in the eyes and fingers of a child.

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How wonderful it would be

if we could take that same sense

of awe with us into adulthood.

To look at things as if they were all amazing would be a treasure indeed.

To the parents of this precious little boy....

Thank you for sharing

a few priceless moments with me.

I know you feel so blessed and lucky

to be the ones chosen to be his parents.

Day at the Zoo

Little Brady is obsessed with animals...

so we decided to take him to the ZOO.

Brook (who no matter how old she gets)

still loves animals too , even went with us.ceere

I've got to say...

there just isn't anything much cuter than watching the two of them together.

He absolutely adores her.

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He watches every single move she makes with a smile.

And I must admit.....

The adoration is mutual.

I never dreamed the two of them would end up falling so hard for one another.

They are precious together..

It makes being a mom feel like

candy sprinkles.space

Brad and I both were truly amazed at how much Brady enjoyed the animals. He was saying all of their names and making the noises they make. You could almost see the wheels in his little brain spinning with wonder..

What a treat...

I guess that just proves.............

You're never too old

or too young

for the ZOO.

New Curtains

My wonderfully talented sewing mother came down this weekend for her birthday party.

We had the best time. But I selfishly put her to work..

My curtains in the living-room needed a revamp of color scheme.

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So I showed her all the fabulous fabrics

that she was sure

could never possibly go together,

and she measured (twice and cut once)

and whipped them out for me.

I love LOVE love them...

I found the most perfect piece of vintage turquoise floral fabric at a flea market for 25 cents.

It was an old table cloth, and was a wonderful texture and weight.

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Added some of my other favorite stuff... AND wham...

New curtains..

I will take a picture of the finished product this week to post.

I am trying my best to get mother to join me in a custom curtain/pillow making business.

Of course she would get the YUCK end of that deal since I just want to have the ideas, and she do the sewing... haha

Mix up something that doesn't go together, and just see how fabulous it turns out to be.

Friends

When I was a little girl

I was lucky enough to have some wonderful friends.

And now I have found them again.

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How amazing and wonderful the Internet and computer age are to those who use it for good.

My class is getting ready for our 25 year class reunion this summer.

AND after all these years I have gotten back in touch with my dear friends from school.

Shame on me

for waiting all this time to find them, and get in touch.

It's not like our class was so huge that it was tough to do.

After all we only had 27 people in it. haha

Wonderful Jennifer, who was always so organized,

rounded us both up and arranged a meeting.

Bless her heart for taking the time to do it..

I am always one of those people who loves to DO IT, and means to get around to doing precious things like calling old friends, but DARN IT.... I just don't.

I have always said on my tomb stone I wanted it engraved with

She meant well............

We met today in Arlington and sat at a table for 4 hours talking, laughing, and eating chips and hot sauce... LOVED it.....

And would you believe it after nearly 25 years we all live in the DFW area...

Now how amazing is that...

I am so mad at myself today though for not taking a new picture..

Shame on me again.........

See... I meant well. I even took my camera..

AND somehow I always get so wrapped up in the moment, that I forget what I set out to do...

Besides the missing picture...

It was a Super Sunday...

Don't wait 25 years to get back in touch..

You miss out on one of life's greatest treasures...... friendship.

Slow but SURE

Ok.. My home redo has been a super SLOW process this time.

I have been feeling so YUCK that I just can't get much done.

Here is a tiny sample of some of the projects I have in the works..

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I LOVE black and white....

So I put a touch of it everywhere.

I also LOVE polka-dots and floral, so I've got lots of that too.

I couldn't find the pillow I wanted.........

SO I painted this one, and sewed fringe around it.

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I painted my version of a FLORAL fabulous day. With my favorite colors, and added it on the wall with my great garage sale chair and table.
I painted my very favorite of all time GARAGE SALE chair (not finished yet) added some fringe and that's what you see when you head to the bedroom. HAPPY and FUN.

Here's my bedroom... I love this HUGE room. It is great. My white crappy/lovely furniture relaxes me, and the crazy mix of color just bubbles my mood. Even Brad doesn't mind.

Didn't paint this picture.. BUT love love it... Found it at some JUNK store, and knew someday I'd have the perfect place for it. It has been patiently waiting under the bed for it's rotation into the house of color. I painted my big clock (garage sale) turquoise and added it to the rest of my collection.

I also painted my favorite old frog turquoise (who used to live in the flowerbed), and added him to my piano top. He's fun to see and Brady loves him..

I found this canvas at some Junk place, and had it "in waiting" to paint something on. I just added a simple scene with some crazy color and put that little fellow right up on my mantle.

I got the jars at Hobby Lobby in the 70% off sale, and painted numbers on them.

Not sure why that has caught my attention lately, but I am "in the liking of numbers phase".

I got the idea from one of my blog favorite places... Check her fun, fabulous stuff out.

http://redshoesllc.typepad.com/my_weblog/weblogs/

Still working on this area... Ran out of steam, and can't keep any food down long enough to get stuff done... MERCY..
The last Dr and I are thinking gallbladder.. I'll keep you posted.
More tests, and more nausea before we know.. hee hee
Many blessing, and a house full of fun to you.
Enjoy your weekend.

Baby at 40

Brady is wonderful, precious, amazing, fabulous and has changed my life forever.

He is the most unexpected JOY I have ever received...

However..................

Having a baby at 40 does things to your body that are not so special. ha

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As I get ready to go to the doctor today for more tests...

I decided to make a list. haha

1. When your 63 yr. old father asks

"does pregnancy also effect your butt" that can not be good.

2. If you cough, sneeze, jump, laugh, blow your nose too hard, or yell at a ball game and have to cross your legs or wear 3 pairs of panties because you wet your pants you might be headed for bladder repair.

3. You still wear the maternity panties cause you like the way they feel.

4. You look down at your stomach and it reminds you of a box of dried raisins.

5. You go for months without wearing a ponytail because you've lost so much hair that you have to wrap the thing around at least 6 twists to get a pony and then it still falls out then you're in trouble.

6. You are thrilled that baby doll tops are back in style cause your "jelly roll/wad of skin" looks HOT in those.

7. You can't decide between low rider jeans that feel good "down under", or Mom jeans that hold it all in look better.

8. If in every picture people ask if you were tired you wonder if you should check into Botox.

9. You sleep in, and wear all the next day the same warm-ups. AND if you're going to the store you put on a necklace to "dress it up"

10. Going without a bra is NOT sexy.

11. You say "She's too old to be wearing that" cause you secretly wonder HOW do they do that!!!!!

12. You wonder How can I lose the hair on my head and it grow like a science experiment in all these other places?

13. Your glad your 42 and get to say "I'm 40... who am I trying to impress anyway!"

Brady is 15 Months

Little Brady turned 15 months old yesterday.

WOW how fast time has gone.

He is already turning into a little person with

such an incredible personality.

He is without a doubt the most life-changing thing

that has ever happened to me.

It is like experiencing

JOY through binoculars.

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Of course we think he is smart...

but he really is so amazing.

It could be that he is surrounded by

nothing but people over the age of 15

all the times..

He is talking so much already.

I read somewhere that babies

at the age of 2

should be able to say around 30-50 words.

WELL.. we made a list

of all the things my main man is saying,

and....

it's official- he should be 2. haha

He says (and knows what he is saying)

1. Moma

2. Daddy

3. Boop (Brook)

4. Bubba (Brent)

5. NayNay (Brenae)

6. Nick

7. Pop (all grandpa's)

8. Bob Bob (SpongeBob)

9. Nemo

10. Elmo

11. Rek (Shrek)

12. animals

13. book

14. hot

15. bad bad (he says that to

everything that hurts him if he falls)

16. dirt

17. ball

18. apple

19. butt (Brook taught him that one)

20. boots

21. brush

22. bubbles

23. boble (bottle) Yes he still gets one

24. eyes

25. bye bye

26. night night

27. bug

28. fish

29. duck

30. moo (cow)

31. baaaaa (sheep)

32. monk (monkey)

33. puppy

34. mice

35. mew (meow/cats)

36. see (horsey)

37. ops (open it)

38. moon

39. baby

40. birda ( bird)

41. bas (bath)